Originally published at TGTMB. Please leave any comments there.

I’m back in the saddle with episode 5 of TGTMB - so look out.

Check out the full text of the episode - along with links where appropriate - below the cut.

See ya ’round.

( Read the rest of this entry » )

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

Let’s say, for what it’s worth, that I’m going to figure out what I want to do with this TGTMB project and choose to keep going with it. Let’s assume I am going to change the name, but to keep a sense of continuity, I want to keep the acronym “TGTMB”. Well, there are lots of possible titles that can use TGTMB as an acronym. Here are some of the new ones I’m thinking of:

• The Game Time Monkey Blog
• The Goop Twinks Mick’s Brain
• The Good Time Meat Boat
• The Game That Means Bupkus
• The Game Twerp: Mick Bradley
• The Ghost That Makes Bacon
• There Goes the Mighty Binky
• The Green Toxic Monster Ballet
• The Gift That Means Bunches
• True Grief Through Mick’s Bullshit
• The Game Table Might Break

At about this point in writing the list off the top of my head it hit me – I don’t need to settle for just one of these titles, or any other single that might come up later! I can just say the show/blog is called “TGTMB” and then in the opening of each episode, I’ll say, “Hi, welcome to TGTMB, The Guy That Moves Bowels!” or “Hi, welcome to TGTMB, There Goes the Mighty Binky!” etc. so that each time I say yet another stupid title that fits the acronym.

So yeah, that’s what I’m going to do, and since this news is just going to be a post and I won’t be turning it into audio you folks who read the blog have a heads-up over the other folks who just listen to the podcast – you get to know what’s coming.

Any thoughts? What does TGTMB mean to YOU, dear reader?

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

Last week, I did a fairly rash thing. I posted that I was putting TGTMB on ice, stopping the podcast, and focusing on trying to have fun just playing again. I also shut off comments for this site, removed myself from most of the discussion forums I was recently frequenting, and even quietly removed myself from membership in the RPG Podcasters’ Yahoo group.

I still feel like I’m facing a very valid problem in terms of waking up and discovering that over the past year I have wasted far too much energy and emotion on rpg analysis/theory/philosophy/debate and far too little time just enjoying my hobby through fun and interesting play.

It’s a valid problem that demands some changes, yes. But geez, I over-reacted.

Yesterday, a good friend of mine - a man whose wisdom and perspective I trust - very rightly took me to task for abandoning the people who are invested in taking the TGTMB journey with me while giving them no real explanation, warning, or opportunity to ask questions.

I have to admit, I had not really thought much about that. I mean, I made a pretty big deal out of inviting people who are interested to “take this journey with me”, even putting that invitation in my podcast’s intro bit. But I downplayed the idea that anyone really had taken me up on that. I let emotion get the best of me. See, what I’ve been seeing is subscription numbers in the high 70s and a “reach” (Feedburner’s estimate of who is actually listening) in the low 20s. On top of that, I was getting about 25 spam comments on the site for every one legitimate comment, and grew really tired of managing all that. Add to that the fact that I’d already begun to get back into the habit of bloating the hell out of my essays, trying to make them perfect and content-rich to the point where it was getting cumbersome to produce the show. But what really broke it for me was that I recently let myself get into a couple of online debates via various forums and had been met with a whole lot of resistance and outright anger, and very little support. Basically this led me to the conclusion that what I had to say was either so outlandish, or my ability to express it was so inept - or both - that I was just causing trouble and wasting energy. In my head, I know that the Internet is a horrible place to try to conduct informed and reasonable discussion. In my head, I know that anyone who tries to articulate and share non-traditional “hippie” ideas about roleplaying is going to be met with misunderstanding and vehemence. I get that, but it was still a lot to handle. And whether it is true or not, I also felt like I was not getting much support from the people whom I believed would be relatively supportive. And I’m the type of guy who thinks, well, if my friends are not bothering to support what I’m trying to say, or even gently help me clarify myself, then I must be WAY off. I need to shut up.

Juxtapose all that with the fact that I’ve realized that I’m a guy whose passion is to be an actor/director who has suddenly awakened to find I’m pretty much always being a critic. Even in play, I was thinking not in terms of fun or enjoyment or immersion, but “how is this going to sound to the listeners”, “can I live up to the standards I set?” and “what is wrong with this session that I can skewer and analyze?” Yuck. I hate that, but I became that.

I wonder, have any of the theory discussions about stance ever coined a type of stance called “critic stance”? Because that’ what I’ve been doing.

I don’t want to do that anymore.

However, as I said at the beginning, I over-reacted. Do I want to re-focus on having fun, socializing, enjoying actual play, and lightening the hell up? Yes absolutely I do. And that remains my #1 priority at this point and I won’t back down from that goal. However, does that mean that I should just dump the podcast, dump the people who have become invested in this thing, who take the time to listen and give feedback? No. And I apologize for doing that.

Now, I’m not sure how this is going to play out. I don’t know when I’ll podcast again, and when I do, I don’t know if “The Game That May Be” is the right title anymore because I no longer want to focus on the may be and the could be, I want to focus on play. Play Now. What’s happening in my play, not what might happen if I try this or that. And I’m not sure how effective it is for me to try to lone-wolf this thing. I feel like I’m talking AT people instead of with people. Maybe I need some discussion and conversation. So I need to think about this, and I don’t know for sure what the result will be. But I’ve turned comments back on, I’ll put this post out as audio on the feed for those folks who listen but don’t read, and I’ll invite input. I’ll admit it. I need some validation and direction here. I’m in a pretty shaky area right now. But I can at least commit to not going and hiding under a rock, thanks to a well-timed and heartfelt admonishment from my wise friend Mr. Perez.

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

I’ve been thinking and wrestling a lot lately with something. Basically, roleplaying has stopped being fun for me.

I think I’ve figured out why - at least, mostly why. It’s because I’ve become so focused on analyzing what “may be” in my play that I’ve completely divorced myself from living in the “now” and just enjoying what IS.

This all culminated in a recent disaster that I perpetrated over on the forums at The Game Master Show, where my attempt to add some of my perspectives into the mix of their discussion of the Dread game they just played turned into yet another situation in which what I conveyed to people was apparently vastly different from what I was trying to say. I don’t want to be that guy any more.

And my friend Mario, in that TGMS forum thread, made a really good point. Theory is fine, but what we need to do is play.

I am therefore putting TGTMB, both the podcast and the blog, on indefinite hiatus. I really appreciate the support and the feedback I’ve gotten, and those of you who have gotten something out of riding along, I hope we can keep in touch.

In the mean time, I encourage you to listen to the other shows that are linked here, and keep playing, keep enjoying your play, and keep thinking about what works for you and what doesn’t, but never let that overwhelm the act of actually enjoying your roleplaying and enjoying the people who are at the table with you.

Hopefully I’ll see some of you at GenCon.

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

Noted scientist Edward Lorenz died at age 90 on Wednesday, April 16th. Lorenz was one of the pioneers of chaos theory and the guy who coined the term “the butterfly effect.”

Personally, I’m thinking this matters to roleplayers at least as much as the recent death of Gary Gygax, and here’s why: if there were no butterfly effect, no one could have made the claim that there would be no roleplaying hobby today if not for Gary Gygax.

So, when you get together and play your favorite rpg this week, roll some dice in memory of Edward Lorenz.

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

Here’s the gist of the news that highlights this short mini-ep:

I am proud to announce that we’ve scheduled four Vegas After Midnight preview scenario events at GenCon Indy 2008! Event registration starts at 1 PM Pacific on Sunday, April 20th. Sign up if you’re of a mind.

• Gaming Group: Harping Monkey Studios
• Game ID: RPG00527 — Event Start: Thursday 8/14/08 9:00 AM
• Event Title: Welcome to the Madness, Baby!
• Event Description: A preview scenario for Vegas After Midnight, a pulp-punk rpg set in the neon-drenched dystopia of an alternate-world Las Vegas infested with chaos and madness. Match quick wits, hot lead, and cold steel against squads of killer clowns and a cult of crazed Elvis impersonators determined to shatter the fragile balance of power between rival factions on the Strip. All in a night’s work, Baby. VAM is built on a gritty variant of the Fate system.

Three other event IDs and times: (Title and description are the same as above)

• RPG00534 — Event Start: Thursday 8/14/08 3:00 PM
• RPG00533 — Event Start: Friday 8/15/08 9:00 AM
• RPG00535 — Event Start: Friday 8/15/08 2:00 PM

Hope to see you in Indy.

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

I am so busy with client work this week (admittedly, not a bad thing for a freelancer) that there’s no way I can finish getting TGTMB episode 5 ready this week. I’ll work on it next week and release it when it’s done. Thanks for your patience. I’ll be focusing on immersion, stance, “metagaming”, and related stuff for ep 5.

Semi-tangent: I think that bi-weekly is a much more realistic release schedule goal for the show anyway. I’m really juggling way too much stuff to be able to put out a show weekly, even if it is 15-20 minutes long.

Okay, but I DO want to toss a couple of tidbits at you this week. I listened to three podcast episodes over the past few days that were really potent, in my opinion. They are:

Virtual Play ep. 27: Player Stance
Why: because Mel’s talking about stance, which is what I’m going to be talking about. And he gives play examples.

Stabbing Contest ep. 12: Convo with Ben Lehman II
Why: the whole thing is good in an organic conversation kind of way. But the “why” is the last ten minutes, where Ogre and Ben talk about roleplaying and real life, morality, philosophy, culture, all that deep stuff. Very insightful.

Theory from the Closet ep. 33: Theory Refresher
Why: because Clyde gives a great and fairly succinct overview of all the theory topics he covered in his earlier shows, and explains why they matter.

If you haven’t listened to those, I highly recommend them. TGTMB episode 5 will reference several of the things shared in those shows. Plus, they’re just good shows.

Last thing - I actually did record a few minutes of audio on my iRiver a couple days ago while I was running errands. I whined about how I feel like I’ve lost my rpg mojo - something is definitely short-circuited in my brain, because all attempts to play any games lately - most notably the Dresden Files session I was in a few days ago - have been really falling short. I’m in total deer-in-the-headlights mode. My brain freezes up anytime I’m trying to figure out what I want my characters to do or say. Anyway, the recorded whine-fest is not useful for public release, so I’ve canned it. But I think I will want to talk about my loss of mojo - but instead of doing it myself, talking at you, I think I’ll try to get a guest host or someone I can chat about it with. Some things are better done in conversation.

So, more on that front down the road.

Until next time, go play!

Just the other day, I was walking around thinking of watching Ultraman when I was a kid, and my mind flashed on a very Ultraman-like dude from a Gozilla movie I saw whose name was Jet Jaguar. But I couldn't remember if he was real. (I never took the time to Google it, silly me)

Well, guess what? MST3K comes through for me!

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

I’m back with a new show covering what’s been going on in my various gaming opportunities (Witch Hunters, The Dresden Files RPG, & Star Wars Episode LV) along with an essay on my need to be informed - and my realization that maybe I’m taking that need a bit too far.

Show notes are on the far side of the “Read More.” Enjoy!

P.S. : Happy April Fool’s Day, and Happy Small Favor day!

( Read the rest of this entry » )

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

I’ve finally gotten around to the task of re-working the basic character concept I’ve developed for my main The Dresden Files RPG player character, Theo Mendaharin. This is the character I’ve made for the play session I’m going to be in with the crew of The Game Master Show, but I’ve re-tooled some things from the original concept. The biggest change is that I’ve decided to take a suggestion from the folks on the DFRPG Bleeders playtest group and try out a lower skill point pool and a lower skill cap. So, Theo’s skills will be a little less potent than many of the starting characters have been in other playtests so far. The default has been 35 skill points with a cap of Superb, I’m going for either 30 points or 25 points (probably 25) with a cap of Great. If you don’t know what any of that means, look over SotC or listen to Rob and Fred partially explain it on the latest episode of Rob Bohl’s excellent podcast The Independent Insurgency.

The story-descriptors in the phases are currently very sketchy, because I want to weave this guy into the group before I go too much further with the descriptors. So, some aspects may change, and the backstory will expand a bit. But overall, this will give you an idea of the direction I want to take the character.

Without further ado, here is …

Theo Mendaharin

Aspects

High Concept: Disenchanted Wizard

Personal Struggle: The Call of Duty, the Lure of the Road

Background: Better Dead than Red (Grew up in Indy, mentor and family killed by Red Court, had to kill some of his own family after they were turned)

Rising Conflict: I’ve Seen Things You People Wouldn’t Believe (wandering soul, worldwalker, misfit)

First Story: I Know She’s Out There Somewhere (lost love who may now be a Red Vampire)

Guest 1: I Touch the Fire and It Freezes Me (Theo has lost so much and become so jaded that he just wants to walk away and wander the Nevernever, the only place he feels any emotional resonance)

Guest 2: The Heavy Grey Cloak (Vampire War and shortage of wardens forces White Council to appoint Theo as Warden of Indianapolis, so he must stay and protect his city.)

Skills (30 pts):

• GREAT: [2] – Discipline Alertness
• GOOD: [3] – Weapons Athletics Lore
• FAIR: [4] – Intimidation Conviction Presence Fists
• AVG: [5] – Resources Rapport Endurance Contacts Investigation

Stunts/Permissions/Powers

• Wizard
• The Sight
• Soulgaze
• Wizard’s Constitution
• Evocation: Spirit-focused
• Thaumaturgy

Yesterday, my good friend Daniel (highmoonmedia) posted a comment on one of this blog's previous entries, and I don't know if this breaks some sort of blog etiquette, but I thought this deserved to be promoted to a whole new post. So here's what Daniel wrote in the comments to my March 5th post "Sundown of a Dream", followed by my response.

</b></a>highmoonmedia wrote:

Mar. 24th, 2008 09:20 pm (local)

I know this was posted a while ago now and things have changed, but I really wish people would stop this whole "if Clinton wins McCain becomes president" crap. I continue to watch the race with interest because I want to know who'll run against McCain (and thus get my vote). I am not an Obama-ite, but I am not a Clinton-ite either, but I grow increasingly uncomfortable with this whole messiah phenomenon whipping up around Mr. O.

"c'est moi, c'est moi, I'm forced to admit ..."

Sure. It is likely that we who are of the Obamaniac persuasion are being a bit over-the-top in our praise, our devotion, and our expectations. The media is correct to point out that if Obama walked on Lake Michigan, he would sink. Sure, he's human, fallible, and I realize that he's a politician of national prominence, and one does not become a politician of national prominence whilst remaining an unsullied soul. And in the past couple of weeks, Obama has proven to be quite fallible - though NOT for the reasons that the mainstream media is pointing at.

So yes, the "Sundown of a Dream" post was a massive overdramatic reaction by me, on several fronts, and I admit that. Obama is not as golden as I painted him to be, and the situation is not as bleak as I painted it to be. And to be honest, I'm actually happy that both of those things have proven true. I LIKE the fact that I've been able to see Obama as a human. Because in the midst of all of it, he still seems to be treating me like an intelligent and informed adult.

The "Sundown ..." post was an emo moment for me - I've had some of those lately. But for what it's worth, and whether or not it is justified, Barack Obama's overall approach, his message, his nuance, his ability to communicate with us as though we're adults - all of that has reawakened my dormant political idealism and my love of country in a way that no one else has done in my lifetime. (Bill Clinton, ironically, came closest).

There are those of us of a certain temperament ... well, maybe it's presuming a lot for me to lump a group of people together, so let me re-phrase that. I feel like I share a certain reawakened passion and motivation with people like gmskarka , chadu , and a few others, who've been impressed with Obama's approach and his ability to communicate hope and change while treating the citizens of America with more respect and less pandering than politicians typically do. Maybe that's some sort of scheme, maybe that's his angle, and maybe he really doesn't represent the hope and change we're crediting him with. Maybe we've put Obama on a pedestal and are trying to honor him and give him credit for things that are not really there. I get that. In the back of my mind, I often ask those questions. And I do research and keep myself as informed as possible in order to ensure that I'm not just buying into some kind of pipe dream. So far, I'm satisfied that the record backs up the rhetoric, that the guy is as authentic as any national political figure could possibly be, and that my hopes are not just empty wishful thinking.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't dare to expect that everyone - even every liberal - would be as drawn to Obama as I am. In fact, for the first time in our life together, my wife Leah and I are divided in our support of a candidate. Leah is very much a Clinton supporter, and she doesn't get why I'm so taken by Obama. (She will, however, admit that 80% of her enthusiasm is based on her dream to see a woman in the White House, and she feels Clinton is the only woman who can pull it off at this time in history) In any case, my own wife can't understand why I like Obama so much - so I can certainly appreciate that several of my friends might not get it, either.

Ironically, it is interesting that recently several people whom I consider close friends were publicly saddened by the death of Gary Gygax, and gave him a great deal of credit for inspiring them and making their hobby possible. It was a level of honor and credit that completely took me by surprise. I didn't get it. I still don't. But, because I love and respect my friends, and consider them to be intelligent, thoughtful people, I figure there must be something to this Gygax thing. On some level he must deserve the place he has been given on the pedestal of RPG demigods. Or, more to the point, whether or not I understand the rationale of all the Gygax-love, I can - and should - still honor my friends by accepting the validity of their emotional resonance with him.

Now, as I read over the last couple of paragraphs, I feel like it might sound like I'm saying that Daniel is disrespecting my emotional resonance with Barack Obama. I don't think that's my message. I actually am glad that Daniel has questioned me on this, because it's been another opportunity to test myself to make sure I'm not just blindly buying the Obama line. I CRAVE that kind of honesty in friendship, and it makes me appreciate Daniel all the more for it.

And in the end, it also makes me realize that Daniel is right about something - I have every right to have a lot of emotional resonance with Obama's MESSAGE and his (apparently) fresh approach to politics, but to the extent that I am resonating with the MAN more than the message, to the extent that I'm putting him on a pedestal, then I need to be very careful.

So, there's that. Thanks, Daniel, for challenging me. Feel free to do so anytime. 

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

I’ve got a pretty good portion of TGTMB Episode 4 written, but I also have strep throat and my voice sounds terrible, so I’m going to hold off on recording until I sound better. In the mean time, I’m pleased to share this great bit of news with you:

Canon Puncture has released the first part (about 30 minutes) of our GenCon 07 Primetime Adventures game Star Wars Episode LV.

The Skinny: At Gen Con 07, I was part of Star Wars Episode LV, a Primetime Adventures game run by Judd Karlman (The Sons of Kryos) and starring Paul Tevis (Have Games, Will Travel), Rich Rogers (CanonPuncture), Daniel Perez (The Gamer Traveler | The Digital Front), and me.

This description from Daniel Perez’ blog summarizes the setup perfectly:

Set 1,000 years after Return of the Jedi, the Republic has now become as corrupt as the old Empire, and the dynasty of Skywalker rules with an iron fist from Coruscant, confident in the security the six orbiting Death Stars provide it. But there is hope, two ancient droids carrying information that can topple the corrupt republic.

I play a wookiee who has taken the name of Kashyyyk in honor of his homeworld, long ago destroyed by the forces of the Republic who then rounded up all surviving wookiees and enslaved them on the planet Hoth. My character is a prince by blood, and is considered by some to be a sort of wookiee messiah, who will lead his people out of slavery. As we start play, however, Kashyyyk is bound in servitude to the matriarch of the Calrissian clan, who have become the galaxy’s most powerful merchant family. Kashyyyk is the personal bodyguard of the matriarch, and also often serves as bodyguard to the matriarch’s eldest son, Han Calrissian (played by Paul Tevis). Han is secretly involved in a plot to foster rebellion against the corrupt republic and restore justice to the galaxy. He has taken Kashyyyk into his confidence, pledging to help free the wookiees of Hoth, and treats Kashyyyk as a friend and an equal when they are not in public.

Instead of me trying to grunt and howl throughout the game, we decided that Kashyyyk can communicate effectively through a translator device he keeps on his person. So you’re spared my attempt at wookiee-speak.

This game was an absolute blast, and represents what I consider to be my most enjoyable experience at the table in years. On the other hand, it is my first real foray into the concept of scene framing, and you will find that to be a big issue with me in this session. It really takes a mental shift - at least it has for me - to switch from a traditional player mindset into a scene-framing mindset. But it is in my opinion a switch well worth pursuing.

I will be digging into my thoughts on scene framing in an upcoming episode of TGTMB, and I’ll also be focusing on doing whatever it takes to exercise my scene framing muscles in the coming months so that I’ll be ready to give the group my very best wookiee when we re-convene for the continuation of this story at GenCon 08.

Recently in my "Sundown of a Dream" post, I got all weepy and gnashy over the aftermath of the apparent Clinton comeback and how I feared the discourse would take a craptastic turn because it seemed to me too many Americans bought into the negative tone and hope-bashing tactics, and my man Obama would have to start playing that game in order to stay IN the game.

Of course, yesterday, with Sen. Obama's jaw-droppingly compelling "More Perfect Union" speech, I was proven wrong about Obama knuckling under and playing the game. That was one of the most non-political, non-pandering, most earnest and sincere speeches I've heard, certainly from anyone in national politics.  Of course if you listen to the media, they're saying many Americans won't appreciate what the senator said yesterday, because it WAS too sincere, too nuanced, and not political or sound-bitey enough.

Today's speech about Iraq and the Middle East was another good one, I say. But it also puts yesterday's race speech in an even more compelling light. I have no real problem with anything Senator Obama said today in the Iraq speech, I agree with it, I feel very confident he can and will make an excellent president, including taking on the role of commander-in-chief. But still, today's speech WAS a political speech, IMO. He hit points. He zinged Sen. Clinton a few times, he zinged Sen. McCain a few times, and he smacked Mr. Bush around pretty good. Yesterday, there was none of that. Yesterday, there was something special, something momentous happening. Like Jon Stewart said last night, "Today at approximately 11 a.m., a politician spoke to the American people like we're adults."

I hope we are, Jon.

So, I'm going to put a bunch of links down here. Visit them if you want, although you possibly already have. Mostly I'm putting these here to remind myself of this week and capture some of the lightning so I can pull it out later when my idealism flags.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/18/obamas-race-speech-damn_n_92026.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/18/obama-race-speech-read-t_n_92077.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/18/obama-race-speech-reactio_n_92121.html

http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/03/18/obama/index.html

http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/03/17/wright/index.html

http://letters.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2008/03/18/obama/permalink/b6c88c6bebe26425ad9617606dc9e369.html

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

Episode 3 of TGTMB is my love letter to the Fate system. We start with a short “at my table” clarification, then move on to a fly-on-the-wall peek into my recent Vegas After Midnight planning session with David Moore. I close with an overview of my impressions thus far of the Dresden Files RPG bleeding alpha playtest, with a particular focus on Aspects.

For this week’s notes and links, follow the link below.

( Read the rest of this entry » )

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

Last week, Fred Hicks sent a note to the alpha playtest folks requesting we report in on our progress with playtesting thus far. I’ve been poring through the playtest docs and dreaming up characters and situations, but as of Fred’s note, hadn’t done any actual interactive playtesting with David and Mario and the TGMS crew.

So I jotted this silly little ditty to the DFRPG group in response to Fred’s request on March 13th:

I’m making a wizard, I’ll have him posted over the weekend.

I’m poking the TGMS guys to get our DFRPG play started. I think we’re going to try to do something tomorrow night, if we can gather enough of the gang. If that doesn’t pan out, I’m going to go off my meds, allow my multiple personalities to re-emerge, and form my own play group made up entirely of them. [He’s joking. No, I’m NOT joking, shut up! Knock it off, you guys, you’re going to scare all these people. Hey, you’re the one that mentioned us in the first place, asshat, so YOU knock it off.]

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I WILL play this *&^%$ game and offer some feedback and commentary. <grin>

Seriously, though, my next podcast is pretty much devoted entirely to Fate, with some of my DFRPG impressions included. I’ll record it and post it by Monday. And I will be using all my Agitator talents (including this post) to get some AP going ASAP.

Well, Friday night, we DID get to do some character creation. The TGMS “we”, I mean - not the multiple-personality-Mick “we”. David and the gang set everything up in the basement, including a rig that allowed them to see and hear me via Skype, and me to do likewise on my end of the connection. And the best surprise was that David was able to get our buddy Chris Miller in via Skype the same way.

So earlier today I was able to update the DFRPG group with this note:

TGMS crew update:

Our Skype video/audio setup worked, and DFRPG character creation is underway. David and I had to contend with a couple of guys who have no experience with the Dresdenverse, very little experience with Fate, and no gumption to read the playtest docs, so it was slow going but I had a blast anyway, and I feel like David is cooking up something interesting now that we’ve begun to establish a baseline for what we want out of our mini-saga.

The biggest and most interesting part, in my opinion, is that we decided that our original two options for city location were not right for us. Gary, Indiana is just too close to Chicago, and Louisville, well, we’re conceding that territory to Mark and the gang. So instead, we’re going with Indianapolis. David and I are going to work up a Dresdenized version of Indy and, as I understand it, we will be playing our storyline in late summer … mid-August, to be precise.

Unless someone changes his or her concept, at this point we’ve got a wizard (me), a changeling with ogre blood (Shaun), a ghost (Dan), a mortal librarian (Chris Miller) and a mermaid (Erin). Mario was not able to attend, hopefully he’ll be there when we finish chargen this week. David’s also creating a changeling who will be a prominent NPC.

I’m psyched. And gee, I’m glad I don’t have to rely on my multiple personalities to play with me.

More info soon.

Now, to wrap this up - if you’re interested, I will be posting info about my new wizard character here on TGTMB once he’s polished enough for public viewing, and I do hope to release a Fate-centric episode of TGTMB by Monday (Tuesday at the latest).

Can I admit something to you? I'm not proud of this, but here's a little peek into the real me, warts and all. I'm ashamed of my feelings, but I've gotta write them down, hopefully debilitating their power over me so that I can let go of this. It's pretty petty, and certainly not all that big a deal in the scheme of things. But here I go...

Ever since I parted ways with the Rolemonkeys group, I've felt totally sick in my tummy whenever the word "Rolemonkeys" gets referenced anywhere. I find myself wishing that I hadn't just said, "Guys, I'm leaving the group, but you can keep the podcast, the name, and all that goes with it."

Well, okay, part of me wishes that. The other part of me, the sane and mature part, still knows I did the right thing and that it would actually have been pretty craptastic of me to make any kind of stink about the name when I left. That part of me knows that the name "Rolemonkeys" is not really mine to give or take anyway. We came up with it collectively, it doesn't belong to me.

Nevertheless, I have to admit to feeling like I got a divorce and instead of fighting for joint custody of the children, I just blew them off and signed away my claim to something that I helped create, something that I actually had primary responsibility for nurturing and growing, just to make it easier to leave. Or maybe it's like I left a band that I helped form. Actually, it's very much like that. Now if I'm David Lee Roth, and I leave Van Halen, then the remaining guys ought to be able to keep the frackin' name, right? But I'm NOT the David Lee Roth of this analogy. I'm the Eddie Van Halen. And if Eddie Van Halen leaves Van Halen, is it still Van Halen?

Now, let me be clear - I'm not changing my mind. I'm not going to go mess with those guys and ask them to stop using the name "Rolemonkeys" nor am I even going to suggest that they should - my feelings on this are entirely selfish and shameful, and I admit that.

But damn, every time somebody blogs a link to a new Rolemonkeys episode, or mentions the Rolemonkeys on a podcast, I feel gut-punched, I feel stupid. I feel sorry for myself because now, when the name and the brand and the show that I put so much work and time and money into gets mentioned, it is no longer including me. And it's my fault for letting it go so easily.

Don't get me wrong. This is on me. I made the choices. No gun, sword, or other weapon to coerce me. Just my need to swim in a different direction while hurting as few feelings as possible.

So. Not so much feeling the proud-of-myselfness right now. But yeah, I think it does help a bit to admit it. This whole thing's got me bothered, second-guessing my actions and choices and wondering if I should have thought it through a little first.

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

TGTMB episode 2 features a segment that skims over what’s going on at my table and what’s on my rpg radar this week, followed by the debut of The Oracles of Liam, featuring a penguin high on a mountain, surrounded by desert.

I noticed while editing this ep that the first segment is actually kind of devoid of useful content, so I plan to re-tool my first segment from here on out to be a bit more focused on share-worthy bits of roleplaying issues. Please bear with me as I work out how best to present this stuff, and be sure to give me some feedback on what you think is - or is not - working.

Read on for show notes…

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I am going to write something today that I hope will be proven wrong over the next few months. But it's where my head is today, and that's what a journal is for, right?

So yesterday, Hillary Clinton did it. She found a way to bring the momentum and the attention and apparently the support of much of the middle class back to her side.

She's no closer in delegates to Obama than she was before, but now she's got it looking like the "important" states all support her, that many of the superdelagates should - and probably will - support her as well.

I think Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee. I don't think she'll have the most delegates, but I think she'll be the nominee. And I think therefore that John McCain will be the next president.

Why? Beyond the fact that she's a very polarizing figure and is the most hated person in the world in the minds of many Republicans, there is this. She's now on record saying things in an effort to make Obama look bad that will actually end up biting her in the ass later in the general campaign.

I actually have generally liked Hillary up until recently, and I also used to like Bill a lot. I don't care about the Lewinsky crap, I loved Bill Clinton.

But I also accepted that the Clintons are going to maintain the Red-Blue divisive status quo, and their second reign in the White House would be hard, bitter, ugly, and exhausting.

So, I fell for Obama, hook line, and sinker. I felt hope, inspiration, optimism, and a reawakened idealism. I also looked beyond that, did my homework, checked the facts and the voting records and the policy positions, and after that fell even harder for Obama than before.

But yesterday, the reality check came crashing down in a wash of confetti over the head of the senator from New York.

Hillary Clinton will get the nomination. I'm not sure how, but she will. And even if not, I think now she's forced the game to change, and Barack Obama will have to shift his stance to an uglier and more brutal approach.

I don't want him to do that. I don't want him to finish the job she started, re-killing my idealism. I don't want Obama to become what she is daring him to become, what she too easily became.

So this is what I believe now. I believe Barack Obama should concede the race to Clinton, right now. I think he should drop out, use his skills to unify the party and undergird Hillary's base with his own, and do whatever he can to help get her in the White House. Possibly even including agreeing to be her VP nominee.

If the Democrats don't unite now, it's lost. McCain will win. And Hillary won't step off. So Barack must. I hate it, but I believe it.

That's how I feel today. I hope I'm proven wrong.

Originally published at The Game That May Be. Please leave any comments there.

Yes, it is a podcast. Three quick minutes of me getting back on the horse, telling you what I have in mind for the show, and giving you a hint at the theme music.

I’m back, baby.

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